Background to this particular rave/blog...
I think I must hold the Guinness book of records for the amount of times I’ve been kicked unceremoniously out of groups - merely for asking for 'due process' - either for myself, or for others in the group. And what I mean by 'due process', is that, if someone makes allegations about someone else, then they need to provide some sort of valid proof/evidence... and that all voices get heard equally.

It happened again today. I got blocked. No discussion, no warning, no reason. Just blocked. 

Now I'm not talking about Facebook Fkdcheckers... all these groups have been either Spiritual or Personal Development or Sovereignty groups. And it would seem that the mere asking for a proper conflict resolution process is perceived as an act of extreme aggravation.

However, on the planet I come from, such a request is seen as an act of wisdom and care.

​Still trying to work out what they think on this planet. But it certainly appears like so many humans feel deeply threatened by the mere thought of actually having to listen deeply to someone, and sort something out in a decent and fair manner.
Beam me up, Scotty.
=============================

Firstly, what does Freedom of Speech mean?
It means the right for anyone and everyone
to say what-ever they want,
wherever they want,
despite possibly being wrong,
or someone not liking what they are saying.
 
So now imagine a world where this god-given right is NOT upheld?
Stop and really imagine it. In the past, we in the West would immediately imagine somewhere like China or Korea, or Russia or Germany during the wars. And though more and more of us now realise that much of the 5I’s are sliding rather precariously into this form of fascism, it’s still hard for many people to realise the repercussions.
 
In essence, loss of freedom of speech means the end of democracy, law, ethics, community, culture – anything good and true and beautiful… and anything bad, and false and ugly.
 
And it has to be both sides – the good and the ugly. Because, right now,…( not later on, when we might have all magically ascended or raptured) … we are in 3d Physical.  And the whole point of being here, is to experience these extremes… to experience the extremes, so that thru experience and learning, we can come back into Balance and Wholeness and Love.
 
Woke ideology and its close cousin, Spiritual Bypassing, would much prefer that the world was all unicorns and fairy floss and high vibrations, based on the false assumption that only being’ positive’, and blocking out anything ‘negative’, means you are closer to ascending etc etc. Spiritual Bypassing means we want to jump all the stages and layers of 3D growth…the suffering, the uncertainty, powerlessness, the fear and the rage… and pass quickly and effortlessly to 5D/ Heaven etc.
 
And here’s another simpler word – DENIAL. The Denial of Truth, of what IS. And what IS on this 3D planet, is all the extremes of everything. How exciting is that! Our soul is just over the moon with the horrifying potential of that idea!
 
So, to paper-over the so called ‘negative’ (which is often someone just saying something you don’t agree with), is to miss the whole point of being here. Basically, it’s the coward’s way out. By blocking all dissention, we don’t get to have to face our own darkness, our own ignorance and fear. We don’t get to learn.
 
And so, not only do we stultify our own growth and learning, but we do that to others too. Which of course, is not a very loving thing to do.
 
Crushing Freedom of Speech (FOS) destroys Relationships and Community.
Healthy relationships and community can only flourish where there is a broad-spectrum of truth telling. This includes ignorant opinion, intuitive knowings, and fully verified facts. Where FOS is not allowed, entropy and stasis soon set in. People feel crushed, creativity dies, and only the narcissists and dominators flourish and prosper … with of course, eventual death of the relationship or community.
 
Keep up your Vibrations!
I can totally understand why many online groups encourage this idea of keeping up your vibrations. Both, because we are becoming so much more aware of the negativity on the planet, which can be really overwhelming, and the stress can push people into being their lesser selves. And then we get pointless unskilful bickering, which ends up going nowhere and often causing irreparable harm
So keeping those vibes high certainly has its place.
 
But to judge and demonise and control and oust people who are just having an opinion, is the epitome of fascism, and nothing to do with co-creating a New Earth.

So Freedom of Speech is essentially a black and white issue,
in that there are no degrees of FOS.
 
I often ask people, “Do you believe in FOS?”
and often they respond with, “Well, it depends.”
But no, it doesn’t depend on anything. It stands on its own.
 
Else, who is the arbiter… who decides what can, and cannot be spoken?
What are the criteria for someone to hold such a huge amount of power?
Can they be 100% trusted. And of course, the answer is simply NO and NO-ONE.
 
Ricky Gervais, the British Comedian, is a great example of someone who fiercely stands up for our right to say whatever we like, even it insults and hurts others.
 
CAVEATS
Because we don’t really live in a culture that encourages healthy truth-telling, many of us are not particularly practiced or skilled, and therefore we often end up being irrational, reactive, controlling, and even downright rude when attempting to 'tell the truth'. And there are consequences to being controlling or rude. It wrecks relationships.
 
But that just means we need to practice. And practicing in a strongly held environment, where abuse is not allowed, but all voices are, is paramount.
 
So, anyone with an ounce of wisdom or relationality, knows that the truth, or one’s opinion, is best spoken with at least some degree of skill, kindness and consideration.
 
But let’s be clear, it is not unkind to just state facts or question things. Many people who are still integrating the concepts of free speech, think that if you are questioning them, then you are being abusive.  But they are wrong. Asking questions is our god-given right, and essential for Democracy and Freedom. You as the listener, have a right to ignore them or answer them accordingly. In the online world, it’s called “scrolling on by” ;-)
 
So rather than endlessly and pointlessly reinventing the wheel every time a discussion happens in some group or other, why not fall back on the very well thought out article: 
 Article 19 of the United Nation’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948) which says, “Everyone has the freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media regardless of frontier.” 
 Silencing ideas that do not align with our own prevents “a flourishing, open marketplace of ideas” that underlies the exchange of ideas, self-determination, and freedom.”
 
An immature society/group shuts down discussion, puts someone in the naughty corner and totally removes others.
A mature society/group learns how to manage this freedom
with kindness and respect, and clear boundaries.
 
So in conclusion, without Freedom of Speech, we don’t have Freedom, without Freedom we have Entropy and the death of anything that is meaningful and life-giving.  So those of us who are dreaming of co-creating a new and paradigm-shifting New Earth, let us learn to balance our Freedoms with our Responsibilities, and give others what we want for ourselves, which is to be SEEN and HEARD for the magnificent creators that we all are.

How an Australian Government department – HealthCareComplaintsCommission - and the legal system conspired to destroy my name and business.
 
I am a 33 years experienced Relationships and General Counsellor with not a single formal complaint about my services until the story below.  Instead, see here for the Testimonials I have received over my years  of service.

If you do a search for my name on the internet,  you are likely to come up with a legal document from the Australian government-funded Health Care Complaints Commission - HCCC.

In their 6 page document of endless imagined claims, they falsely allege that in early January 2020, I caused harm to an ex-client of mine. Apparently I told her to slit her wrists,  and was forcing her to come to see me etc!!
 
 I contacted them numerous times - both email and phone - asking for proof of the allegations. But rather than follow due process, they ignored all my requests, and treated me as if I was guilty... and barrelled on with their apparent goal to destroy my name and my 32 year Counselling business.

When I found out who the ex-client was, I was incredibly surprised, as this particular female client came to see me on and off for 2-3 years - and she was THE most complimentary client in my whole life as a Counsellor!  She told me pretty much every session how much I was helping her ... and it was so full on, that I had to regularly ask her to focus on the great work she was doing to help herself. And we also never had the slightest upset or misunderstandings that I was aware of. Hence, my incredible surprise when I found out it was she who made the complaint.  Also most of the complaints seemed to have nothing to do with her and what mattered to her - she appeared to have been 'coached'.  Obviously, I tried to contact her, (once)  but she wouldn't respond.

Despite my many letters and phone calls, all my requests for the HCCC to provide evidence were duly ignored. Early on, I was given interim orders that banned me from working... (surely this is illegal to do before someone has been found guilty?) ...and then eventually, they requested I turn up to court. 

As it was during the Covid era... I lived 7 hours away from Sydney,...and I had no funds for a lawyer... and I had completely lost any faith that I would be treated fairly... I did not turn up to the 4 times they called me to court.  To be honest, it was hard for me to treat the whole thing seriously, because there was no way I would ever harm a client. And they had no evidence, because how could they, if their allegations had no basis in truth?? 
 
Interestingly, I am in good company. Similar has happened to many medical practitioners in Australia. Including the incredible Naturopath, Barbara O'Neill. She turned up to court with a good lawyer, but ended up with a similar outcome - banned from working for life and a huge fine.

So despite having NO EVIDENCE, they found me guilty of not turning up to court, and somehow magically produced a rabbit out of their magicians hat with the resultant outcome.
OUTCOME
1.    Banned from working for life in my area of expertise - including voluntary.
2.    Fined $40,000 
3.    Fine was unpaid – resulting in loss of driver’s licence -  suspended for life.
4.    Car was de-registered
5.    Defamed throughout all the major mainstream media and newspaper outlets.

Obviously this has had a huge impact upon my life
– as not only is my business destroyed at a very delicate time of life
ie entering towards retirement with no savings
(my life’s savings were stolen around the same time),
but also the desecration of my good name after a lifetime of service.

So for those of you who are not naïve enough to believe everything that government departments or legal systems say is true, let’s explore things a bit more deeply.

HCCC LIES

1.  They said I told my client to slit her wrists and was forcing her to come and see me. NOT TRUE
2. During all this media defamation, they kept saying I was an “unregistered Counsellor… NOT TRUE . I had been registered with the Australian Counsellors Association for years. And also with ASSERT (the Australian Sex Therapists Association).

          And in actually, there is no legal requirement for Counsellors to be registered               with anyone. And then, during this process, these 2 Australian memberships                  were stripped from me - with no discussion.
 
      3. The case against me was proven. NOT TRUE
See gif below.
It says, “…the Magistrate found the charges proven.” Actually no, they didn’t. The 4 x $10k fines were due to not turning up to court. At no time have any of the charges been proven, because you can’t prove something that is a lie. This is called perjury.
 
      4. I was fined for “failing to respond”. What happened to “the Magistrate found the charges proven.”??  Which one was it folks? Or are you just making it up as you go?   NOT TRUE.
Prior to the court cases, I contacted the HCCC with numerous letters and phone calls, but in every interaction, they treated me as if I was guilty and not worth speaking to. They never answered any of my questions. All of which means, they broke the law by not following any due process. They consistently pretended that I didn’t respond to their letters. I did. I just didn’t respond in the way they wanted.

       5. They alleged that I was masquerading as a Psychologist. NOT TRUE
Amongst my many other qualifications, I have a 1991 BA majoring in Psychology ie BAPsych, which yes, does not make me a Psychologist. But mentioning that I have that degree in my marketing etc, does not mean I am pretending to be a Psychologist. It just means I have a degree that I earned. They can allege all they like, but it doesn’t make it true.
                                            ---------------------
So imagine a murderer or rapist or a white collar criminal who was put in jail for some offences that they actually did do. They do their time, and get out of jail and start working again.  That’s right, there’s an end to the sentence.  With my ruling, there is no end.  
 
Obviously, this is a total travesty of justice – a kangaroo court - both unlawful and unethical. And if we actually lived in a Democracy, this could never happen. Which does make one think - do we live in the opposite??

​So there we go. That’s my story.
Similar to many, many other Health Professionals that we never hear about. A potent indicator that our judicial systems are rotten to the core and have lost all pretence at upholding decency and lawfulness.
 
So please, if you see someone denigrating me in the public realm, (which does happen)… please send them the link to this story. So at least they can know the truth and not besmirch their soul by causing harm to another.
​https://www.francesamaroux.com/blog/blind-justice-my-story

If you prefer to listen, rather than read...
https://audio.com/frances-a/audio/blind-justice-my-story
​

The most important lesson a male needs to learn to retain membership of the Man Box is:
Don’t be a Girl.

Whatever you do, under all circumstances, no matter what…
Don’t be a girl

​Don’t look like a girl – don’t smell like a girl – don’t wear girl clothes – don’t do girl things like dance or like ballet – don’t do a girl job – don’t feel – don’t empathise - don’t cry – don’t negotiate (especially with a girl)  – don’t go to the doctor till the last minute – don’t lose -  don’t fail.
 
If you do, you will be shamed, and abused… and even violenced
till you learn to get back in that box.
 
And if you rebel or just don’t get it,
And wear pink or purple or polka dots to the building site one day…
the rejection from the Man Club is often too great to bear.
Its better to be dead.
 
And who does this shaming and abusing?
Other men.
Women do their fair share.
But mostly, its men.
 
All those girly qualities rejected again and again.
And then you spend your whole life trying to get back into that womb,
to get even a taste of that feminine.
You want it so bad, like an addict, you think about it day and night,
you will take it, you will spend lots of money to get it, you will destroy your marriage for it, lose your kids, you will rape it, you will kill for it.
 
But that normal softer part of you, that society mistakenly calls ‘feminine’,
Is an integral part of you.
 
But you have to cut it off, truncate it, squash and distort it
Till all that is left, is a cartoonish empty caricature of ‘what it means to be a ‘real man’.
 
You are caught in the most horrifying paradox of all
Don’t be a girl – but you got to have the girl.
 
This endless impossible quest rips you apart internally.
And as you rip those muscles at the gym, mistakenly thinking that the girl
(who you unconsciously despise) will want you more when you look that way,
You are filled with an unspeakable rage at the unfairness,
the confusion, the overwhelming difficulty of the task.
 
To keep the girl, to get the sex, to fill the emptiness,
You have to understand what makes her tick,
What she wants, what turns her on…
This being that you have been taught again and again and again
To despise
To despise most every quality that she embodies
 
And yet you can’t get enough…
The emptiness calls
 
And if she opens her mouth to express anything
that doesn’t fit into your picture of how she should be,
if she’s not totally grateful for all the effort you put in
To toil endless hours at that job
Build that house,
Mow that lawn
 
And if she won’t ‘give’ you sex, the sex that you deserve, that you are owed
For having to spend a lifetime crushing that girl part.
Then you have every right to get it elsewhere, in whatever way you can
And at whatever cost.
 
Because deep down, you suspect you may be nothing without that girl part
 
That if you cant fill yourself from that girl cup,
You are starved and empty and worthless
And life is meaningless
So, you feel that righteous anger rise within you.
The anger that comes from deep, deep powerlessness
The powerlessness that comes from
you don’t know that you don’t know that you don’t know
 
And so, you take it out on them.
After all, they are weaker.
It’s not so hard when they don’t fight back.
Crush that bitch, crush her as hard as you have crushed yourself.
As hard as your father or teacher or boss or friend
Crushed the aliveness, the creativity, the joy, the soft squishiness of you
The you that lives in the straightjacket, the suffocating confines of that ManBox
The ManBox that you might not have known even existed.
 
Until now...

​Copywrite Frances Amaroux  2019   

And here is Justin Baldoni - actor - beautifully expressing the same idea.
WHY I'M DONE TRYING TO BE "MAN ENOUGH"

​

Win-Win Relating
No matter how fantastic your relationship is, its likely to move into the ‘Power Struggle’ stage some time after  2 months to 2 years together. In this very normal stage, where one or both parties attempt to re-establish their individuality separate from the relationship. You begin to look for what is different, or wrong or bad with your partner. And this is where arguments and disconnection can start.
 
At this stage, people either run for the hills, stay stuck on and off for the duration of the relationship, or learn to create wonderful win-wins and stay happily together.
 
This is where having a few relationship and communication skills can be very handy.

• Get in early – don’t allow things to fester. No matter how small or large the issues are, clean them up.
• If your partner has an issue with you, take it seriously, even if you don’t think it’s a problem.
•  Put aside special time to clear up issues.
• Learn how to do Active Listening – where you take it in turns to truly listen and empathise and understand each other’s point of view.
• Learn to listen and active-listen without going into judgement and wanting to be right. No matter how crazy or wrong your partner sounds, your job is to step into their shoes and understand them from their world.
• After you have both FULLY heard and understood each other, co-create juicy win-wins, and make clear agreements about future behaviour together.

​We live in a culture that values winning, but unfortunately if you win in your relationship, your relationship loses, and often gets so toxic that it dies. Instead, always think of your relationship as a team sport – you are both on the same side, working together using your unique gifts and talents - heading towards the same goal of long term love, connection, safety and happiness together.